What to Do When You’re Struggling with Menopause

Many people are aware of how hormonal changes give rise to physical symptoms such as hot flushes and night sweats in menopause. However, the impact menopause has on mental health is spoken about less, despite this being just as prevalent. 86% of menopausal women admit to suffering from mental health issues, yet 80% don’t even speak to their partners about how they’re feeling1.

If you feel like menopause is destroying your life, it’s important to know that you aren’t alone and that it is common to feel this way. It can be an incredibly challenging stage of life but there are things you can do to help cope with menopause symptoms and improve your quality of life.

Struggling with menopause: why it’s hard

Three-quarters of women between the ages of 50 and 64 say that aspects of their lives have been impacted by menopause1. The physical and emotional changes that occur due to declining hormones can fuel further adverse effects. For example:

62% of women report mood changes
46% say their sex drive is affected
27% report menopause impacting their relationship with their partner
20% notice changes to their social life
15% spend less time on hobbies and leisure activities
12% state menopause impacts their relationships with other members of the family
8% of women say that menopause hurts their relationship with their friends1

These can be difficult to deal with, especially when many are juggling a busy life that includes work, caring for children and/or parents and other responsibilities. When navigating all these things, as well as the physical menopause symptoms, it’s no wonder that some women don’t feel like themselves and 43% feel alone during menopause2.

This is why it’s crucial that you recognise the signs that you’re struggling with and that you give yourself the time and space to work through these changes.

Signs that you’re struggling with menopause

Everyone responds differently to stress, worries and periods of change, with it not being uncommon for feelings to come and go. Being aware of how you react to such situations is key to identifying when you might need some support during menopause.

Indications that you’re struggling with menopause may include:

Increased anxiety, low mood, irritability, or mood swings
Memory problems, trouble concentrating, or brain fog
Feeling tearful or sad, even when ‘nothing has happened’
Trouble falling or staying asleep, or feeling unrested even after sleep
Feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt3
Avoiding social situations or activities you usually enjoy
Struggling with focus, productivity, or motivation
Finding day-to-day tasks much harder, or feelings of overwhelm
Increased alcohol consumption or reliance on prescription medication
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
A feeling that you might be ‘going mad’

Things that can help you to deal with menopause

Menopause impacts everyone differently, and your coping strategies should be tailored to your individual needs. You may need to explore a combination of approaches to find what works best.

Symptom alleviators

On average, women experience nine menopause symptoms1, with 80% of women experiencing hot flushes and night sweats in menopause4 and half of post-menopausal women experiencing vaginal dryness5. These physical symptoms can be difficult to deal with and can have a knock-on effect on your mental well-being but there are simple steps that may alleviate these common symptoms.

Wearing lighter clothing

Hot flushes and night sweats can leave you uncomfortable and self-conscious. Dressing in lightweight, breathable fabrics like cotton or linen can help you stay cool. Layering is also useful as you can add or remove items throughout the day as your body temperature fluctuates.

Herbal remedies

For those seeking natural alternatives, there are some herbal remedies for menopause like black cohosh, red clover, or evening primrose oil that may offer relief from symptoms like hot flushes or mood swings.

Deep breathing exercises

Deep breathing techniques can help you regain control during moments of anxiety or stress and may reduce the severity of vasomotor symptoms6. By focusing on slow, deliberate breaths - inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for four - you can calm your mind and manage symptoms like palpitations.

Vaginal moisturisers

These non-hormonal treatments help with vaginal dryness by rehydrating the vaginal tissue. If pain during intercourse is affecting your sex drive and thus, your relationship with your partner, using a vaginal moisturiser can help you feel more comfortable in engaging in physical intimacy again.

Lifestyle changes and self-care

Making thoughtful adjustments to your daily routine can have a significant impact on managing menopause symptoms. From prioritising rest and nutrition to finding joy in simple activities, these changes support both your physical health and emotional well-being.

Sleep

Menopause and sleep disturbance often go hand in hand, but a good night’s rest is crucial for your overall health. Try sticking to a consistent bedtime routine, avoiding caffeine in the evening, and creating a relaxing, quiet and cool environment in your bedroom.

Diet

Dietary changes can help in managing menopause symptoms7. Aim for a varied, balanced diet that contains lean proteins, calcium-rich foods, vitamin D and plenty of fruit and vegetables. Avoid processed foods, and saturated fats and limit spicy foods, caffeine, and alcohol if they trigger hot flushes.

Exercise

Staying active is a powerful way to combat symptoms. Activities like yoga, brisk walking, and cold water swimming for menopause can improve mood, boost energy, and help maintain a healthy weight. Strength training is also particularly beneficial for preserving muscle mass and bone density as are weight-bearing exercises where your feet and legs support your whole body weight.

Enjoyable activities

Engaging in hobbies or activities you love can bring joy and reduce stress8. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or trying a new skill, prioritising your happiness can help you navigate challenging days.

Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are valuable tools for managing emotional symptoms like anxiety or irritability9. Apps, guided sessions, or even just a few minutes of quiet reflection each day can help you feel more relaxed, centred and in control.

Talking to friends and family

Opening up about your experience can be incredibly freeing. Sharing your feelings with loved ones helps them understand what you’re going through, reducing feelings of isolation and building a support network you can lean on.

Medications

For some women, medications can be a valuable part of managing menopause. Whether it’s HRT or non-hormonal treatments, discussing your options with a healthcare provider will ensure you find the right approach for your needs.

Hormone replacement therapy

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is one of the most effective treatments for menopause symptoms. By replacing declining hormone levels, HRT can alleviate many physical and mental symptoms of menopause, which in turn can improve overall well-being.

Veozah

A new medication, Veozah is the only licensed prescription medication used to treat moderate to severe vasomotor symptoms of menopause. It works in your hypothalamus - the part of the brain responsible for temperature regulation10.

Antidepressants

For some women, antidepressants can help with anxiety or depression in instances where menopause is harming their mental health. They may also help reduce hot flushes in certain cases11, offering an alternative for those who cannot take HRT.

Clonidine, Gabapentin, Oxybutynin & Beta Blockers

These non-hormonal medications can be effective for managing specific symptoms. Clonidine is often used for high blood pressure but can help reduce hot flushes12, while gabapentin, commonly prescribed for nerve pain, may improve sleep and ease vasomotor symptoms like night sweats13. Oxybutynin is normally prescribed to treat an overactive bladder but is effective in reducing hot flushes14 and there is also some evidence that beta blockers, typically used to treat heart and circulatory diseases, can also help alleviate symptoms including anxiety.

Getting professional support

Sometimes, coping with menopause requires additional help from professionals. Talking to your GP, a nurse, a mental health practitioner or a menopause specialist can provide guidance, relief, and a safe space to be honest about how you’re feeling.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

CBT for menopause can be particularly helpful for addressing anxiety, low mood, or feelings of overwhelm, giving you practical tools to handle challenging moments. At Menopause Care, Dr Rebecca Smithson is our CBT specialist and you can book a free 15-minute CBT taster session to see if it’s right for you.

Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy is another option for relaxation and symptom relief. It may help improve sleep quality, reduce anxiety, and even alleviate the intensity of hot flushes15 through deep relaxation techniques and positive visualisation.

Crisis support

If menopause is making you feel powerless and you’re thinking about taking your own life, it can be frightening. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to a loved one, you must reach out for crisis support immediately.

For urgent mental health help from the NHS, call 999 or 111, or go to A&E
You can call the Samaritans on 116 123
You can text Shout to 85258

Where to get help

Friends and family and your GP are good people to talk to if you're struggling to cope with Menopause. However, it can also be beneficial to speak to someone who is experienced in helping women navigate this period of their lives.

At Menopause Care, we offer treatment plan reviews to those who have previously seen a private menopause specialist so we can check that your HRT medication is working for you and recommend changes to types and doses if it isn’t. We also have a team of specialists who can work with you to get you back to feeling your best no matter your concerns or symptoms. To get started, book a consultation with a menopause doctor.

DisclaimerAt Menopause Care, we ensure that everything you read in our blog is medically reviewed and approved. However, the information provided is not meant to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon for specific medical advice.

References